Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Story of My Life - Day 8

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Day 8, Wednesday: A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.
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If you aren't yet married, or even if you are, read the book He's Just Not That Into You (not the movie, the book).  It totally changed my perspective on relationships.  I dated one crappy guy after another, and always made excuses for why they never called, why they weren't honest about certain things, etc.  While the book is humorous, I think there are a lot of good tips for dating.  Like, if he's married, he's just not that into you. 

Ladies...don't date a married man!  That's bad juju (or however you spell it), and he will likely cheat on you.  If a man doesn't call, he's just not that into you.  If my husband can find time to call me in a remote location in Iraq, your man can find time to call you on a business trip.

And lastly, it taught me that I need to put myself first in a new relationship.  I would recommend that everyone pick five or so non-negotiables and stick with them.  I always said it was fine if my guy didn't want to go to church with me, but Joel and I are both Catholic, and it's nice to grow spiritually together.  I always said it's fine if a guy smokes because he has that right.  But I always hated kissing an ashtray.

And lastly, if a guy's not right for you, then there's someone else out there.  Someone that is a better fit for you.  Don't be with a man and expect that they'll change intricate parts of their personality just because they are with you.  Believe me, I kissed a lot of frogs before I met Joel.

I am by no means an expert on relationships.  And we are not perfect by any means; he still grates on my nerves at times, I will admit that I have never been happier with a man in my life.  And we all deserve that, ladies.  Don't sell yourself short.

1 comment:

Ech and Will said...

I remember finding that book when I was all angsty and teenagery...changed my life. I had to keep reading it to remind myself to lose the losers. Until I met my husband I had horrible taste in boys so unfortunately it took a while to learn the lesson. But I agree, the book is great!