One month in Paradise

Wow, have I really been on island for one whole month now?  I've been so used to saying that "we just got here," but I guess I can't really say that anymore, can I?  It's been an experience, for sure.  It has been an amazing experience so far, but it hasn't been all roses and sunshine.  Here's my take on the pros and the cons of island living in the Beautiful Okinawa, Japan.

Pros:  Umm...this Midwesterner is no longer land locked!  It is less than a ten minute drive to the ocean.  The ocean!!  I have never experienced being this close to the water before.  I am such a beach person, and although we've been busy doing other things, I have really enjoyed being able to take an impromptu beach trip.

Cons:  The tides and crazy weather!  So, I had no idea the tides and such could be chimed, so Joel and I had a beach fail last weekend.  We went, literally, at the lowest tide of the day.  It was barely to our ankles!  We decided to wait and try again another day, obviously.  The next day, it was gorgeous!  We ran errands to escape low tide again, and then went home to pack up and it started storming.  For hours.  It's hard to plan for beach days sometimes.  Or anything, really.  When the rain really falls, no umbrella or rain jacket will keep you dry.

See the people wading in their ankles?

Pros:  The delicious food!  Ramen takes on a whole new name here, and it is so delicious.  We also have tasty Hawaiian restaurants,  sushi places (for Joel, not me), and many, many other delights.  I am going to have to hit the gym hard here.  Plus, dining with a view isn't too shabby.

Cons:  They Japanese aren't always the best when choosing things to eat.  They sure have some disgusting things on the menu.  I am so happy when they have pictures on the menu to help us figure things out, because I sure can't read Japanese.  It's been a very hard hurdle, and I'm still pretty uncomfortable with not knowing the language, although I have learned a few key phrases.

I'll definitely have more observations as time goes on.  Right now, it feels like I am just on a really long vacation.  We have a house, but not our stuff (still have another month on that) and I haven't started work yet (tomorrow is the big day).  The weather is always hot and humid, which is a pro and a con (my poor curly hair!), and Joel's working weird shifts at the moment.  It's not our "new normal" yet, but I'm enjoying it for the most part.  I think month two is going to be very different.

Taking Stock

So, I saw Michelle from Mish Lovin Life post a taking stock survey that she found over on Pip's blog and it looked fun, so I decided to play along.

Making: Plans for when my in-laws come to visit in one week!  While most would run and hide, I really enjoy mine, so I a, looking forward to the company.
Cooking: Turkey burgers on the grill and corn on the cub.  Oh, and I also made a kick butt cobbler yesterday.
Drinking: This fabulous new Strawberry Hard Cider I discovered from Crown Valley Brewery. 
Reading: Insurgent, the second book of the Divergent Series.  Even though the movie was sub par, I loved the book.
Wanting: PCS (military moving) orders somewhere different.  I'm looking at you, Denver, England, or Germany.
Looking: like a hot mess due to the lack of sleep from my cough and Gomez waking up in the middle of the night now and barking.  What's up with that??
Playing: Bingo on my phone.  Dobbing those numbers is addicting!
Wasting: my life away right now.  See below.
Wishing: for a purpose.  Or the sign to my purpose.  Screw that, no sign.  Someone just tell me what my purpose is!!
Enjoying: the spring weather we have been having.  Finally!
Waiting: for our house to sell.  It officially went on the market today.
Liking: how cuddly the pups have been lately.  Pug cuddles are the best!
Wondering: if/when I am going to get the all clear for our move to Korea.
Loving: that my four year anniversary is this weekend.  Things have been clicking pretty well with Joel lately, and I am more in love than ever.
Hoping: that we will magically receive orders somewhere else (are you sensing the tren here?!).
Marveling: at how the only thing constant is change.
Needing: to find a job in Korea so I don't go crazy.
Smelling: my new strawberry picnic candle from B&BW.
Wearing: my boring work clothes.  Whomp, whomp...
Following: more people on twitter and instagram to combat my late night boredom.  Wanna follow me? Twitter or Instagram - Let me know and I'll follow back!
Noticing: that there are finally flowers growing in our little garden that we planted last fall.
Knowing: that in about a month my stress level will hit the roof.  Thanks, Air Force.  I am not amused.
Thinking: that I should be more grateful for the blessing in my life versus complaining about the bad.  There's a lot of good going on, too.  Venting is just a stress release for me.
Feeling: overwhelmed.  The next house we buy better be our last... 
Bookmarking: travel spots that will be easily accessible to us in Korea.  Embrace the suck, right?
Opening: another box of K-Cups.  Coffee is the secret to life.
Giggling: at cute animal videos on Vine.
Feeling: happy that I am back to blogging more regularly.

Thirty

 

I don't know about you, but I'm feeling thirty...  Wait, that's not right.  But, I am indeed thirty now.  A new decade.  When I thought about where I'd be at thirty, I pictured a much different life.  I pictured a fast-paced career, married with one or two children, and living in a big city.  Well, one of those is correct.  I am married.  But, due to my husband's military service, none of the rest have come to fruition.

No fast paced career, because it's suffered due to the constant moves and not getting to choose where I'm living.  And that big city?  Once again, I don't get to choose where I get to live.  I always pictured working in politics in D.C. (thanks for nothing, political science degree) or working in the legal field in Chicago (but, alas Law School wasn't practical).  So, I'm settling for a civil servant in a small military base (although, admittedly I like what I do fine, but it's not challenging or making a difference).  I can't even use my teaching degree (that I thought would be more practical) because we are moving so soon and to a place where there is little opportunity (my license is in special education).  Kids became much less of a priority because Joel is gone so much, and I really don't want to do it alone.  And what if he was gone during the pregnancy/birth?  No, thank you.

But, this is the life I live and the life that I chose.  What didn't I picture at thirty?  I had absolutely no idea that I would have visited 28 countries and five continents.  I had no idea that I would be moving to actually live in my third continent.  I had no idea that I would fall in love with being abroad so much.  I had no idea that I was to become conversational in three languages, and hopefully fluent in those someday (and about to learn my fourth).  I also had no idea how great marriage could be.  I didn't exactly have the greatest example set for me, and even though life can get difficult and stressful, I know I can always lean on my best friend, my husband.  He is my biggest supporter, and would do anything that I asked of him, even though I rarely ever ask for his sacrifice.  Just knowing he would give up his whole world because of me makes me feel loved enough that I would never ask him to.

I didn't intend on this post getting so serious.  It's just kind of crazy for me to look back at how I envisioned my life to see it so different now.  Sometimes I am so hard on myself for not accomplishing the things that I thought I would, but then I see this whole different person that I never imagined.  Is one better than the other?  I don't know, I've only had the chance to lead one life.  I figure that God has a plan for me (for all of us), and I'm just trying to do the bets with the choices I've made.  I have a big year coming up.  We are selling my house and my car, I have to leave my job with no serious prospects for another, and we are moving to Korea.  KOREA!!  I don't even know what things are going to look like six months from now, but I know it will be an adventure.  Cheers to the thirties!!

Getting Real

 
Rainbows and Butterflies: that's what we make our lives seem like on our blogs, right?  Of course, there's the "let's get real" kind of posts, or ones where we do silly vents or reveal our first world problems.  But, behind that, sometimes there are real problems that exist.  I'm going to open up a bit about something I've been struggling with lately.

Joel's a good man, he really is.  But lately...I don't know.  We're...off.  This is not to say that I think our marriage is in trouble or that we are headed off to "D-Ville."  Not. At. All.  But, we have been out of sync lately.  Marriage is hard.  I know that.  We've been pretty blessed that our relationship has been fairly easy so far.  Sure, we're always giving our best effort.  That's a no-brainer.  But, it hasn't been hard at all.

I know one part of it is that we are both wanting different things out of life right now.  Joel is getting promoted this month, due to all of his hard work.  I am so proud of him.  He also just hit his ten year mark in the Air Force.  He is loving his career, and can't wait for our upcoming PCS.  Me?  I am quite miserable professionally.  Yes, I have a great job, and yes, it pays well.  But, I am way over qualified and it brings me absolutely no professional satisfaction.  Basically, my job doesn't make a difference to anyone outside of my immediate co-workers (which I have to say I am blessed with some decent ones).

Just finishing my MAED, I really wanted to look for jobs in cities I've always wanted to live in.  Nashville, Chicago, or even back in my home of Indianapolis.  But, I can't do that.  Why?  There are no Air Force bases so that we can be stationed there.  Basically, if I get a job there, I don't get to be with Joel.  And, to be honest...I'm bitter about that.  Really bitter.  Not at him, per se, but kind of like...why can he have his dream, but I can't have mine?  And it's hard.  It's hard that he's excited and loves what he does, and I can't have that.  And I can't even apply around here, because it's not fair to whatever school might hire me.

And I don't want to sell our house, which I love.  But we have to, because we probably won't even get stationed here again.  I don't want to sell my car, which I love.  But, I have to.  Joel's is an SUV, and mine's a VW, so his is more practical.  And we are only allowed to take two pets, so I either have to leave one behind (which is like asking me to leave one child behind), or smuggle one in, which is what we are going to attempt.  I want roots.  I want to stay in one spot, and have our routine, and forever friends, and a community.  He's of the mindset that "home is wherever the military sends us."  And I've done my best to make every new place a home.  But, then I fall in love with our new home, and it soon gets ripped away.

And to top this all off, he's not being a good listener.  He's not being empathetic.  I think he doesn't know how to handle me, and to be honest, I don't know how to handle what I am feeling, either.  He doesn't remember conversations that we have, and I am tired of repeating myself.  I'm just...tired.  I find myself talking to him less because, lately, why bother?  I have no energy from my headaches, which is making me worst wife of the year in a lot of ways.

He's a good man, he is.  But we are struggling.  And I am struggling.  And it's hurting our relationship.  Will we persevere?  Of course.  We love each other, and even though I am the biggest supporter of "needing more than love," we have more.  We are hard working people that love each other very much.  We will work through this, because we will both put in the effort to.  But, right now?  It's hard, and I'm hurting.  And I'm not really sure, at the moment, where to go from here.

Love Is All You Need

I am so on love with "love."  I'm a hopeless romantic, and single or taken, I've always been a big fan of Valentine's Day.  Sadly, I married a man that thinks it's nothing more than a Hallmark Holiday.  I say, "so what" to that, as just about every holiday has become about cards and gifts nowadays, rather than its true meaning.  But, we've compromised, and decided that we won't do anything big, but we will always take time out for "us" and at least plan a dinner out or something else that's simple.

Friday I planned a quick drive to Indiana to drop my sister off, and then pop right back in plenty of time to make our dinner reservations.  I was off of work thanks to my wonderful compressed schedule, and thought it would be a good use for my time off.  Right?  Well, old man winter didn't think so.

About halfway there, it started to snow.  It wasn't supposed to start until 2pm, It started, oh...around 10am-ish.  Indy expected 1 to 3 inches, but had at least 3 or 4 by the time I started back.  It was slushy and icy, and people were being reckless.  I saw, once I started counting, 26 cars on the side of the road.  My car was literally in park on the interstate on the way back for at least 90 minutes.  My 3 and 1/2 hour drive coming back took over six hours, plus the extra time it took to drive there.  We missed our dinner reservation, and I was so bummed. 

Joel had quite the nice surprise for me, however.  He got a tiny bouquet of flowers, the cutest card and sign ever, and made me dessert (an inside joke from our first date.  It was perfect.  We had a simple dinner at home, and went to bed early.  It was simple, but ended up being a wonderful Valentine's Day.  We ended up going out to dinner on Sunday and avoiding the crowds.  Sometimes, I really just love this man.

New Year's Eve

So, this NYE may go down as one of the most boring ever for me, but it was still fantastic.  Most of our friends went out of town, and we didn't feel like the bar scene this year, so we kept it pretty quiet.

We started off with dinner reservations at Square One Brewery in the Lafayette Square district of St. Louis.  It was a cute, quirky bistro with incredible service and friendly staff.  Joel got a beer that they made at the Brewery, and he really loved it.  He ordered the fish tacos, and said they were pretty yummy.  I ordered the Fish and Chips, but wouldn't recommend it.  It was way too greasy for my liking.  But, we ordered the pretzel as our appetizer, and the jalapeno cheese sauce was amazing!  So, I'd definitely try it again ordering a different dish for dinner.

After that, we walked a block down and had martinis at Bailey's Chocolate Bar.  They make their own ice cream for their desserts, and the martinis are some of the best I had ever had.  They had a pumpkin martini available as a special in the fall, and I am quite pleased to announce that it now has a permanent spot on the menu.  If you like pumpkin, you will salivate over this martini.  So utterly amazing...  The dessert wasn't bad, either.  The molten lava cake is by far my favorite.

 

After that we headed home to watch scary movies.  This is usually a New Year's Day tradition, but because we were home, we moved it to NYE.  We watched The Purge.  I loved the premise of this movie, and the movie was ok, but they didn't really develop the story line or the characters.  I think the movie was only 1 hour and 20 minutes, so they had plenty of time.  I wish they would have done more, but it was worth the one night rental.

We then gathered the pets and rang in the new year.  We made it to midnight!  We're not that old yet.  It was great, and Pugsley even let us sleep in (he's normally an early riser.  I'm happy to have another year with my old pug.

New Year's Day we had some donuts (which I think we will make a tradition of) and headed to Dillard's because they had a 50% off clearance special.  It was a mad house!  I could barely walk around, and some lady literally took a pair of boots out of my hand.  Crazy!  I managed to find one pair and got a new purse, and Joel got a few pairs of dress shirts.  I am surprised that we made it out alive.  Ladies be shopping!

My 2013 in One Picture

Link up here!

Well, it's NYE.  I can't say that I am sad to see it go.  Did I have some great moments?  Absolutely.  I fulfilled my dream of going to the Galapagos Islands in March, I celebrated my 29th Birthday in NYC, had frequent trips to Chicago (my favorite American city), spent time with the in-laws in Portland, OR, and finished my Master's Degree.

But this year challenged me.  I was so busy with school, I forgot about so much else.  I wasn't very good at cultivating the friendships I had made, and subsequently lost a few amazing friends this year (well, we are still friends, but it's not the same).  All that hard work I did in 2012 to lose a bunch of weight went into the trash in 2013.  I gained all of it back.  All of it.  I also had my dreams dashed of going back to Germany to live, and instead am heading to Korea, which is full of unknowns.  I have to sell my first home soon, one that I love and put a lot of sweat and tears into, my car, which is a ton of fun, and my friends, who have made this duty station so memorable.

But, as this year comes to an end, I am going to try and focus on the good that has come, and the good that will come.  Moving to Korea means that there is little change that Joel will not deploy for two whole years!  He's had three deployments and a short tour already, so this is huge.  I am moving to a foreign country, which will cure much of my wanderlust that I've been without.  And hey...I graduated!  No more school (hopefully) for a little while, and prayers that I can use this new found degree when I move abroad.


So my picture of 2013 will be a happy one, highlighting my biggest accomplishment.  And here's to an eve better 2014, where I hope to get back on track and not sweat the small stuff.

What You Should Ask Yourself Before 2013 Is Over - Part 2

Sharing part two of the list I found over at Everything Happens For a Reason!

11. When did I feel most creatively inspired?  During my student teaching.  I had to come up with creative lesson plans that not only excited the students, but that met specific state and University standards.  I am the least domestic gal you'd ever meet, but I had fun piecing some of these lessons together.

12. What projects have I completed?  Other than my degree, not very much.  That's been my main focus.  We did do a bathroom reno and worked on our yard, though.  Those count, right?

13. How have I procrastinated?  The better question would be how haven't I procrastinated.  I completely do most things last minute.  Maybe I just work better under pressure.

14. In what ways can I re-structure my time?  I'd like to create an "everyday life" schedule, so that I have a plan to stick to.  Now that I have more free time, I'd like to spend it being (mostly) productive, so I plan on scheduling time in my day to read and exercise, and also play with the pups.  They haven't had the play time they deserve lately, and Pugsley is getting so old I don't know how much longer we will have with him.

15. How have I allowed fear of failure hold me back?  I literally doubt every personal decision that I make, and wonder if I made the right choice.  For some reason, professionally I am confident in what I do.  But personally?  I am always afraid of the unknown and change.  I wish I could learn to be more confident all around.

16. Where has self-doubt taken over?  See above.

17. When have I felt the most alive?  When I travel, but in 2013, most specifically in the Galapagos.  It combined my love of travel with my love of animals, and I cried tears of pure joy that I was able to have that experience.  It was utterly amazing, and I will never forget it.

18. How have I taught others to respect me?  I honestly have no idea how to answer this one.  I am who I am, and I won't change that for anyone.  I stick to my principles, and am loyal to a fault.  Hopefully I have gained others' respect from that.

19. How can I improve my relationships?  I can be more attentive and a better listener.  Sometimes I am so wrapped up in my own world and with what I am doing that I often don't truly listen to what others have to say.  I can also work on making that extra step in communication.  Being so far away from so many that I love is hard.  I struggle with putting in more effort than I am given, but sometimes someone has to do that, right?

20. Have I been unfair to anyone?  I often expect perfection from Joel, even though I am far from it.  I love him with all of my heart, and I need to understand that he loves me too, and therefore tries his best.  I need to learn how to love him in all of his faults, too, because I know that he always means well.

Coming to the year's end...

Oh my goodness, is it December already?  I mean seriously, where has this year gone?  I know where the last 16 weeks have gone.  To finally finishing up this crazy degree of mine.  This is my last week, and then I will officially be a graduate of graduate school.  Seems so unreal.  I have so many thoughts circling my head about what exactly finishing will mean for me and to me, but they deserve their own little post.  But for now, I have four days and counting...

Thanksgiving was (mostly) nice.  I miss my sister so much, so it is always good to see her.  I wish I could steal her away sometimes and keep her with me always, but I'll have to settle for seeing her as much as I can.  My step-dad (the only real dad I have known, so he is "dad") is a simple man of few words, but he is always a pleasure to be around.  He's a big goofball, but such a caring man.  My mother, on the other hand...her and I have always had a bit of a difficult relationship.  Let's just say we are very different people, and she pretty much disagrees with everything I have ever done and will ever do.  So seeing her, as much as I love her, stressed me out.  Anyways...  We had a big, delicious spread of food, but I was too busy trying to enjoy the moment that I didn't snap any photos.  In fact, the only picture I got the whole weekend was of my sister and I at IKEA.  Oh, St. Louis...the rumors better be true about an IKEA coming.  I've missed it.

Hello, Swedish meatballs!

In other news, while we don't have official orders in hand, we got sort of a "heads up" on our next duty assignment.  It looks like we are headed to South Korea this summer, and I am so torn about it.  While I loved my experience in Germany, I am not looking forward to this move.  Joel had ten bases on his wishlist, and suffice it to say this was not one of them.  I had dreamed of every base on that list, but I just can not imagine myself living here.  I'm so taken aback.  I haven't fully digested that we are leaving for Asia yet, and I'm not sure I will until he gets the orders in hand.  But, I can tell you I've cried the ugly cry about it already.  I feel like Joel worked so hard to get a good assignment, and even took a highly coveted crappy assignment here that he didn't want just to improve our chances.  The Air Force laughed and said "too bad, we know what's better for his career," and so everything he did was for nothing.  I am not a happy military wife these days, and I'm just hoping the experience will be better than what I am imagining.  The only thing I can think that it will be good for is curing some of wanderlust.

You know you want it....a way too late Halloween post.

I'm going to make this quick, but I couldn't not share.  I'm sick as all get out (cough, sore throat, the whole shebang), I just took a four hour exam, and I have a ton of school work to do in the next three weeks before that fateful day comes when I finally get to say "au revoir" to grad school.  Thanks for sticking with me, by the way.  I'll be back to normal blogging shortly.

Anyways, for Halloween, a good friend had a banging karaoke party like she's had in the past, and Joel and I knew we couldn't resist.  She had a costume party, and I love making homemade costumes.  Want to know what we went as?  Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke.  Probably not how you expected, though...

Joel, as Miley

Me, as Robin

The Duo in action

Even the pugs got in on some costume action!

My life, as of late.

Things are pretty busy around our household lately.  I have a love/hate relationship with that.  As much as I enjoy the things we've been doing, when you couple that with my busy school/work life right now (do I sound like a broken record yet?), that I haven't been able to have that relaxing read a book or take a bath time.  Six weeks and counting...

So here is what has been happening in our neck of the woods!

We got our new foster pup, Kosher.  He's a sweet old, blind boy, and is an easy addition to the crew so far.  Although I still hope he gets a permanent home, soon.  Any takers?

We also saw Jimmy Fallon at the Peabody Opera House here in STL.  He brought along some pretty funny comedians, but he had very little time on stage on his own.  That was pretty disappointing, because we definitely paid a price worthy of a little more of his time...

Last weekend, we also went hiking with some friends in Weldon Springs, MO.  Whenever I get bummed about not living near the mountains or ocean, things like a beautiful fall hike make me feel better.

We've also been enjoying the cooler weather that comes along with fall.  The fireplace has had a lot of use lately.  Even the dogs have been enjoying it.