This and That

Are any of you still adjusting to this hour we lost over the weekend?  I know I am.  As a born and bred Hoosier, we never had DST growing up.  I know, weird, right?  But to us, it was normal.  And I loved not having to worry about it.  My first experience with it was when I lived in Germany, and I was so freaked out that I would never get the time right.  Obviously, I did, but it took a few times for me to feel comfortable.  Now that we are back in the states, we still have to deal with it.  I was just getting used to waking up in the daylight and now, bam, it's pitch black again.  Not. A. Fan.

It was a beautiful, glorious day yesterday.  So good, we had to go out for a little al fresco dining happy hour.  It was great.  It was just what I needed.  I had the top down on my car and flip flops on my feet.  I think it got up to 82 degrees.  Today?  I woke up and it was 34.  Womp, womp.  So rather than be depressing, I'll share a picture from yesterday.

Houlihans happy hour food is legit.  Their drinks?  Not so much.  Went for the old faithful wine, but I was really in the mood for a cocktail.  But, look at Joel!  Outside in short sleeves?!  Yesterday was legit.

I even went for a run.  Yeah, that happened.  It's been forever, and even though it was a beautiful day, I was seriously hurting at the end of the 30 minutes.  Time to get in the swing of things.  Since I stopped seeing the chiro, I am trying to incorporate fitness back into my routine.  It's been hard, quite frankly.  I've been so, for lack of a better term, lazy.  I used the excuse of being told to not exercise a little too seriously, but hopefully I can work on that.  I am also starting weigh-in Wednesdays back up after my upcoming trip, but will try to update here and there on my journey.

On another note, I am getting injections on Friday to try and help my headaches/migraines.  I am scared out of my mind.  I have a slight phobia of needles as it is, and my doctor told me that there are 30 injection sites, and it will take 40-60 minutes for the whole process.  I really, really hope that this works.  I feel like I am running out of options at this point, and I am tired of having a serious headache every day of my life.  SO if you could, say a little prayer for me Friday afternoon.  I asked for some Valium ahead of time, and she e-mailed me back asking if breathing exercises would work.  I really hope that she's kidding.

And for no other reason, here's a cute picture of our foster dog.  Isn't he the wrinkliest thing ever?  Jabba the Hut, anyone?

Life's Lessons

So, I'm halfway done with my student teaching.  Half. way.  What?  How did time fly so fast?  I really enjoyed working with my high schoolers, and I had a amazing time visiting our area's transition house (which is the type of environment I would prefer to work in).  But, now?  I'm in an elementary school.  With second graders.  As in, with 8 year olds.  Holy different ball game.  This is definitely different than where I came from, and it takes some skills I haven't acquired yet.  Pray for me that I magically figure it out soon, and fast.  While these kiddos are cute, they are certainly a handful!

And while you're praying...please see an extra special prayer for me.  I applied for a dream position with a non-profit that I would just die to work for.  It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I have a molecule of a chance of getting it, but I just had to try.  It's not in the local area, and I'm not sure how the logistics would work yet (umm..hey, honey!  Love you!), but if it works out, then it will work out.  I just know it.

So, eight weeks, a massive paper, three observed teachings, and a massive state exam to go before I finish my MA in Special Education.  That long awaited degree that I may never use.  Why is that?  Well, I figured out towards the end of this whole process that there are very few special education teaching positions that I really aspire to get.  The whole SPED world is a lot different than I imagined.  While I learned so much and I will never, ever take for granted the knowledge that I gained, I also realized within myself that the passion I feel for these kids is strong.  So strong, that I won't just take any job that's out there. 

My desire in the community is to work with the kids that are called "severe, low incidence," which are kiddos with pretty severe cognitive or physical disabilities.  This community, at least where I am at, is pretty small.  I am so proud of my experiences and what I have accomplished, but I realized that what I really want to do is to develop ways that this group of special people can live as independently as possible.  Foundations out there like The Down Syndrome Association and Transition Centers, that's where the action I want to be is.  Bridging the gap between these guys and the local community is so important.  Not just to them and their families, but to all of us.

So, I'm not closed to the teaching profession.  Not one bit.  There's still a lot of good that needs done in the schools, and the kids need that.  But, I'm also branching out.  Looking at different non-profit perspectives and possibly going back to getting a Master's in Non-Profit Management.  Keeping my options open.  Because despite our current economic situation (hello government shutdown!), I like what I do for the military.  I wouldn't be miserable continuing my civil service.  But, I'm expanding my horizons.  I'm finding my happy.  Which, I guess until recently I didn't know I was allowed to.  So even though it's hard, and I've been stressed, and there were (are) easier routes, I will find my happy.  I have to.  And helping people who need that extra push.  Well, that's my happy.  So, I'm on my way.  Even if it's just volunteering.  I'm on my way. 

Still here, I think

Wow, it's been a crazy couple of weeks.  I am officially one eighth of the way done with student teaching already.  How did that happen?  Also, who decided it would be a good idea to work while I am doing it?  Gosh, I'm getting everything done because, ell, I have to...but, I forgot how dang hard working so many hours plus all of my school requirements would be.  And hey, I'm not 22 anymore, so this old gal is going to be at around 9pm every night.

This school is challenging to say the least.  Unfortunately I can't share too many stories, but I am in an alternative high school for kids with emotional / behavioral disorders.  It's rough.  So challenging, yet so rewarding.  I'm only teaching two classes a day right now, but I am exhausted at the end of the school day (I'm still there all day, just only teaching two periods right now).

I swear I'll be a better blogger and schedule more posts, since I'm not doing a great job of "live" blogging during the week.  But, hang in there with me, guys.  Some of your kind words and comments really keep me going.  And I am also slowly trying to keep up with all of your blogs, as well.

Randoms

Umm...is it fall?  In July??  In the Midwest???  Well, whatever the case, I just want to say that I have loved having the AC off and the windows open.  We ate outside the other night, and I can say that I felt slightly chilly.  It was glorious.  Now all that I need is for Starbucks to get their delicious Pumpkin Spice Latte going and it'll be official.

In other news, my bathroom is finally completely finished, decorated, and clean!  It seems like it has been a long time coming, but feast your eyes on the end product.  I love it, and I have definitely been enjoying bath time without that terrible glass shower door.

The Before

The after!

This week I will be headed up to Chicago with a good friend and her daughter ti participate in the Diva Dash!  I've never done a race like this, and to be quite honest I don't think I'm prepared for it.  My running has been sporadic at best.  Hopefully I don't kill or embarrass myself in the process.  I am excited for a weekend with the girls.  Although, it will, of course, be too short.

Who am I?

How in the world is it the middle of July already?  I swear, the older I get, the more quickly time passes by.  Sometimes, I wish it would just slow down so I can savor those moments that I want to remember forever, and imprint them in my mind better.

So, tomorrow will officially mark one month until I start my practicum, which will be the last semester in my Masters Program.  Bless my boss, because he is willing to let me work around that to get some hours in so that I can still earn some semblance of an income while I am doing this.

I have such mixed emotions about my program ending.  I have to say without a doubt that I love all the experience and time I have put in with these kids who have special needs.  Ranging from Down Syndrome to Autism, being with these kids have taught me so much.  And even if I may not use my degree to teach in the near future, I believe that my program has made me a better person, and I vow to at least continue to volunteer with Special Needs Organizations in order to try and make their lives just a little better.

However...professionally, I am struggling so much.  I continue to feel down on myself, and I'm not sure how to pull myself out of the professional funk I'm in.  I loved my job working for the Army.  I felt like what I did directly impacted the warfighter, and although I am against war, I am (obviously) pro service members.  But, I always thought I'd take my Poli Sci Degree to Washington and use it to change this world for the better.  I truly believe it is one's mission in life to leave this world a little better than they found it, and there are some issues I am truly passionate about.

When I married Joel, well...this may sound like a broken record now, but I felt like my career and my aspirations were put on hold.  I know "that's what I signed up for" and I knew that was a possibility, but I didn't think it would hurt my self esteem this much.

I make a decent wage and I still work for the government.  I enjoy the people I work with, and the work I do isn't bad.  But, I don't feel like what I am doing is making an impact.  I know I am capable of more.  My boss has been incredible and this job has been very low stress, which has been a blessing since I have been doing my Masters full time as well.  But, I feel like a part of me is missing.  And I don't know what to do about it.

I don't know how to fill that void right now.  I don't know if I can fill that void as long as I'm subject to the Air Force's whims of moving often and to who knows where.  I guess I just really needed to get all of this out.  Friends here don't understand, and I don't have any kind of mentor to look up to for advice.  And Joel, bless his heart, feels terrible that I feel this way, and he doesn't need that burden, either. 

I just wish there was a crystal ball that God would hand me to show me which way to go and where this path is leading me.  I have issues with not being in control of things, and I have to say that as a military wife, there is little I can control.  Where am I going to live next year?  What am I going to do?  Will I have friends or family nearby?  Who am I?  What defines me?  Who knows... 

Friday Letters...

Dear Portland...I'll be visiting you soon, end even though my husband told me it would be cooler with less humidity, I see the number "104" as the high forecasted for Tuesday.  Not cool, Portland

Dear 1980s...Seriously, I think I should have had these years in the 80s.  Sure, I was born in the 80s, but I didn't live through the 80s.  My concert line-up this summer includes Richard Marx, Kenny Loggins, and New Kids on the Block.  Clearly I was meant to be an 80s girl.

 

Dear NFL season...I'm so excited for you to start!  We got DirectTV just so I could get the NFL Sunday ticket.  This season is going to be Epic.

Dear running capability...umm, where have you been?  Running has been slow going lately, and I am struggling much more as of late to get through a run.  This also applies to you, motivation to run.

Dear weight...please, please go away.  At least a few pounds of you.  Pretty, pretty please?

 Dear Saturday...I am coming for you.  Watch out!

Weekend Update

So, it's becoming more and more common for me to do these updates on Tuesday versus Monday.  I tell myself I'm going to knock it out before work on Monday, but I never do.  Blogger problems...am I right?

Anyways, this weekend was a good , albeit a quick one.  I started out the weekend seeing a throwback favorite in concert...Richard Marx!  The man is still insanely talented, and pretty hilarious to boot, so it was a great experience.  It was at a local casino in St. Louis, the River City Casino, and Joel and I had never been before.  We went to the buffet for dinner (shocker...he and his family are all about the buffets), played about $5 in the penny slots, and went to see the show.  Afterwards, I even got a head shot with his autograph.  It was a fabulous night!!

The casino.

Apparently I eat like a child at buffets.

Joel's loot.

The best part of buffets...the dessert!

Us waiting for the show to start.

The man himself.

Fun graphics.

My heart be still...he rocked it!

The rest of the weekend was fairly uneventful.  The closet in our spare bedroom that holds our random stuff (coats, miscellaneous military uniform items, dresses, etc.) came crashing down due to the previous owners of our house not caring when they installed it.  It was drilled straight into the drywall.  So, we decided to re-do my closet (the smallest walk-in in the world) and then put my old closet stuff into the spare room.  Joel did a great job, and it was nice to re-vamp my closet.  It desperately needed a makeover.

The before.

The solution,

Joel's handiwork.

All done!

A tie rack for my tank tops...brilliant idea.

Then we spent the remainder of the evening doing a puzzle (what are we...80?) and catching up on the DVR.  Obviously, Pugsley was bored with this.

I am super excited for this week to come to a close already.  We have a musical and a concert this weekend, and then we jet off to Portland, OR to visit with Joel's family.  This is only my second time going, so if anyone has any must-sees that they could recommend, that'd be great!

Grumpy Cat's Cousin

My cat Jäger, affectionately known as "Jägy Kitty," desperately needed a bath yesterday.  For those who don't know, my cat actually loves water.  Whenever I take a bath, he lays on the edge of the tub and dips his tail in the water.  If Joel or I shower, he will jump in when we are done and lay around in the wetness  Despite this, he still looks pretty pathetic when he gets a bath.  As someone on my Facebook pointed out, he kind of resembles a long lost cousin of Grumpy Cat.  We shall call now him, "Soggy Kitty."  See for yourself!
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How you know it's going to be an awesome Friday...

1.  My boss took the day off today, and so I scored his reserved parking space instead of parking all the way back behind the building.  Score!

2.  When I woke up and actually felt rested.  Hasn't happened in a while.

3.  Knowing that me and one of my best friends in the area is going to take a Friday night Zumba class in honor of Susan G. Komen.  Supporting a great cause, cool swag, and burning of some much needed calories. Arriba!

4.  Finally getting ready in my re-done bathroom.  It still doesn't have all of the fixtures, etc. up...but it's finally functional.

5.  Getting excited about heading to Portland next month.  Even though that's where Joel is from, I've never really gotten to explore the city of Portland.  I'm not very cool, but I think it'll still be fun.

Random Thursday...

1.  It has been hotter than Hades around here!  It was 95 yesterday and super humid.  I know it's June and that the Midwest has humid summers, but how am I supposed to get anything done that way.  It makes running absolutely miserable, and I can't enjoy the open air.

2.  The bathroom is almost done.  We still need to put up the shower curtain, towel rack, etc...but, the end is near..  Here's a peek at the progress so far.

3.  I'm not sure if the Susan G. Komen festivities kick off everywhere this weekend.  But, here in St. Louis we are ready to roll!  Tonight is Dine Out for the Cure, in which participating restaurants will be donating a portion of their proceeds to the Foundation.  Tomorrow is Caliente for the Cure, which is a Zumbathon, and tomorrow is the 5K.  Fun fact - St. Louis has the largest Komen Race for the Cure in the world.  I did it last year, and the sheer number of people made it amazing.  This year I'll be doing the Dining out and Caliente for the Cure. 

A view of the race.

Our team last year.

4.  I love concert season!  This month alone I've got two concerts and a show to see.  We are seeing Richard Marx (total 90s flashback!), I'm going to see NKOTB, Boyz II Men, and 98 Degrees with a friend, and we'll see Pirates of Penzance at the Opera House.  Shakespeare in the Park ends this weekend, so we may also check out Twelfth Night.

5.  I know I'm not old old, but man...weight loss this time around is tough.  I felt like it was easy to shed it off last year, but I am having a much harder go at it this year.  And I don't stand up often enough for myself when friends or Joel want to go out to eat somewhere with no healthy options (like Five Guys).  Plus, I find I use way too many excuses to not work out, when I just need to get my butt up and do it, a la Nike.

Excuse the naughty word.

I went running!

So, remember that yesterday was National running Day?  Well, not only did I go (sorta) running, but I also signed up for a 5K race!  I really enjoyed the few races that I did last year, but since I'm not really a serious runner at the moment, I wanted to make sure what I signed up for was fun, too.  That way, I am motivated to actually show up for the race.  Wanna know what it is?

Ok, so this is last year's logo, but it's the NFL series back to football run!  Anyone that knows me knows that I am a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge football fan, and am so excited each year when the season starts.  The NFL is gearing up for their season, and many teams are hosting races the Saturday before the opening game, in which you get a ticket to the season opener!  This year it is only a 5K, but I'm still pretty stoked.  I wish they were playing my team (the Miami Dolphins), but I'll get to see them week two in Indy (my hometown).

A friend also talked me into a few things in order to keep me fitness motivated .  In August, we will be doing the Diva Dash in Chicago.  First of all, I love Chicago, so just about anything will get me there.  This is a 5K obstacle course (women only), so hopefully I won't be too intimidated!

Lastly, we are set up to do Caliente for the Cure!  It is a two-hour Zumba Fitness Event where 100% of the proceeds will go to benefit Susan G. Komen for the cure.  I'm really excited.  I did the race in St. Louis last year, and it was great!

Random Wednesday

Just some random musings / happenings in my little world:

- Where has common courtesy gone?  If someone holds the door open for you, say "thank you."  If a car lets you out when they didn't have to, give them a friendly wave of appreciation.  If you bump into someone, say "excuse me."  I don't know about you, but these manners really do mean a lot to me.  It's the difference of whether I am going to be passive aggressive towards you, or not.

- Parents that are one their phone / computer - put your electronic devices away and parent your children!  I feel so bad for the kids I see who just want their parents to show them some affection.  It's sad, really.

- Have you ever felt so perfect for a job and do all that you can (volunteer, etc.) to land a position where you feel your passion lies and then get completely passed over and feel rejected?  Yeah, me, too.  I tried so hard to get on with this non profit that I feel so passionate / drive for.  They didn't have any openings for me, but created one for someone else.  Heartbroken doesn't begin to describe it.

- I have a love / hate relationship with coffee these days.  No matter when I fall asleep, I always feel so tired when I wake up.  I can't even remember the last time I woke up on my own rather than by the dogs / my alarm / Joel.  I'm not sure I can get through a day anymore without coffee.

- Today is National Run Day, and I'm actually looking forward to going for a run today.  I don't love running or anything, but today I want to.  I think I really needed that today for motivation.

 

Why do I run?  To lose weight, gain confidence, and to become a healthier "me."  Although I'm not sure what I do is actually running, yet.

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(linking up with Shanna today)