We all asked ourselves this as kids, right? Some of us wanted to be doctors or lawyers, some firefighters or cops, and some chefs or moms. I knew from the time I was little that I wanted to be an attorney. When I went to college, I majored in Political Science because I thought that it would give me an advantage in Law School. I eventually double majored in History because I just grew to love it, so when I graduated I received a B.S. in both. I also lived out a dream by moving abroad and living in Europe. Along the way, the unexpected occurred. I met Joel, who I fell madly in love with, who also told me that he wanted to be a career Air Force Officer. Insert tire screech here. I almost didn't date him. Why? Because I have never met a military spouse who also had their dream career. But in the end, love won out and I don't regret my decision at all.
I had a great job in Germany working for the army, and learned a lot of life lessons along the way. I decided that being an attorney, trying to go to law school and retaking the bar every two to three years in a new state, just wasn't going to be feasible while also being a spouse. So, I decided I would teach. That is why I am going for my Masters in Special Education. In the meantime, I feel conflicted. I have never not worked. I got a job at 14, and even worked full time while in college. It is very hard to find a professional job where I am. I live is SW IL, right over the border from St. Louis, but to go to the city and work would put a strain on my family time and my stress level while in grad school. Rush hour in the morning is NOT fun.
I accepted a job a month ago part time making half of what I made overseas and doing something way below my skill level. I anguished over this decision. Sure, it was a paycheck, and albeit small one, but I felt like I shouldn't have taken it. I felt like doing so wasn't doing anything for my self-esteem or for my family time. I didn't get a degree to work on Sundays with no benefits, right? So, after much discussion with my husband, I put in my resignation. It just wasn't worth it. Now, I am on the job hunt again.
This is probably the hardest thing for me as a military spouse. Why is it so difficult for us to also have personal satisfaction in our careers? I keep hearing about all of these hiring initiatives, but I think they are all crap! Potential employers know when our resumes are so diverse who we are and I have been downright shot down because of it. I wish I knew what to do to fix this or change it, but right now I just feel stuck. Hopefully I can find something soon, but in the meantime I am unemployed for the first time in my life, and I hate it.