Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Random thoughts of a military spouse.

I have been compiling a list of thoughts I've had lately that stem from my association as a military spouse.  I've struggled about posting them, because honestly I don't like offending anyone.  I hope that no one that reads my blog takes any of this personally.

Whether you are a part from your significant other for a day, a week, a month, or a year...you are entitled to miss them.  If I am your friend, I want you to be able to lean on me.  If your husband is gone for a week and mine for a year, it is not a contest and I will not make you feel bad for talking to me about it.  Sometimes I think military spouses play the "I have it worse" game, and I hate it.

Being married is not a job.  Is it hard work?  Absolutely!  But I would never say my job is a military spouse.  Would you say your job is as an electrician's spouse or an attorney's spouse?  Absolutely not!  I love my husband, and while parts of this lifestyle are not easy, it is definitely not a job.

It's ok to have your own likes, dislikes, interests, and hobbies.  Spouses do not wear any kind of uniform, unless they serve themselves, and whether your husband is higher or lower ranking than mine, I do not care.  The first question out of anyone's mouth that I meet on base is something along the lines of "where does your husband work/what does he do/what rank is he."  How about asking about me first.  I promise I will do the same.

Do you want them home, or do you not want them home?  Pick a side!  Also, do not assume that I am "weird" or "not married long enough" when I don't like when he goes TDY.  I adore my husband, and at least for the foreseeable future, I will never be happy or relieved when he is called away at the last minute.

Lastly, I want to thank everyone who puts up with this lifestyle.  There are pros, cons, good days, and bad.  And while it's not easy, I don't think the answer is picking on other military spouses.  We all make our own decisions in life, and it's not fair to say someone is right or wrong whether they work or don't work, live off or on base, or love or hate the military lifestyle.  As women (and some men), we need to work together and lift up others in a time of need; not tear them down.

-End of Soapbox-


Jen said...

I love this post!!! I have noticed that many military spouses like to make it a competition of how long their spouses are gone. We all just need to be supportive of each other.

Anonymous said...

I agree with everything you said! I'm so glad there are other military spouses who think this way.

Katiellirb said...

Sing it sista! The point that hit home for me was first and foremost, I am a Contracts Negotiator. Eventually down the list is military wife, b/c I do think thats a part job in itself, but it in no way defines me!

Ala Astor said...

I feel you! I saw your blog at the Military Support Blog directory and I'm following you now from http://inhighheelsanddogtags.blogspot.jp/. I am really thrilled to have found this support group. I am looking forward in visiting your blogs and meeting you all.

Mrs. V said...

Well said!

Kelly said...

Love this post! While I am not yet a "wife", I have still encountered women who act this way. My S was actually hesitant to introduce me to any wives and was picky when he finally did because of it. It's ridiculous that some wives would look down on others because of their husband's rank. Like you said, the husbands are the ones that wear the uniform.

Honor Courage Commitment