Ok folks. Time to get personal here. Since Joel has been gone, I have been a little sensitive to things that people say/think/do. So, in an effort to make some people aware of things that they may do that maybe aren't so nice, I have compiled a small list.
1. If the person you are talking to loves where they are from, don't proceed to tell them how much you hate said place. I happen to love Indianapolis (where I grew up) and was so excited that they put on such a good Superbowl weekend. They were voted one of the best Superbowl cities, and handled the event with class. So, if I tell you how much I love and miss my home state, do not tell me how much you hate it there, how stupid it is, etc. It is frankly a little rude.
2. Along the same lines, don't openly bash a friend's religion. I am Catholic. While I do not believe everything that the church teaches (or sometimes does), do not tell me that you think Catholics are perverted, that Mass (which I find much spiritual satisfaction in) is boring, or that we are trying to impose our beliefs on everyone (i.e. the birth control controversy). It is a fundamental right to practice our religion. While the church does not believe in birth control, I do. I am a birth control user, and believe that if it was God's will for me to get pregnant, then I would be. But, I believe that the church has the right to their beliefs, and so I support them in trying to fight for those rights. That does not make me small minded.
3. I understand that Joel isn't gone forever or getting shot at every day. But, that does not make this deployment easy on me. I am missing my best friend every single day that he is gone. I wake up alone, sleep alone, and eat dinner most nights alone. My loneliness does not go away because someone else has it worse. Someone else always has it worse. By you telling me how it could be worse does not help me. So please stop.
4. Not everything has to be a contest. If I say that I did something, you don't have to tell me how you did the same thing 100x better. I am proud of my accomplishments. I love when friends share stories, because it is great to be able to relate to someone, but you don't always have to be better than me. I promise I'll still be your friend if you are not better than me. But I might stop if you continue to tell me how awesome you are.
5. Also, what is up with being fake all of a sudden? Why tell me one thing, and then act in a completely different manner. Just be real with me.
6. What is up with entitlement? That's all I really have to say about that one. No one deserves anything that they didn't work for.
Whoo...I feel so much better! Any pet peeves that you are dying to share?
4 comments:
Wow...that doesn't sounds like a very nice person, or someone I would want to be friends with! Sorry :( People are so insensitive to others feelings. Keep your head up!
Aww, Kristen, I'm so sorry you're going through ALL of those things. I would like to personally say THANK YOU to you and your husband for the sacrifices you both make while being deployed. From one military wife to another, you deserve a gold star every day he's gone. And as a Catholic, THANK YOU for your thoughts. I am totally on board. I may be Catholic and do not practice all of their teachings such as birth control, I am fiercely loyal to support the church. It's called freedom of religion, something your husband is fighting for in a far away land.
I am sorry you are having unpleasant experiences with people. There always seems to be a spouse that will claim they have it worse. Missing someone is missing someone regardless of how long they are gone or what they are doing. Heck my husband is about to leave for a weekend cross country trip, and I already miss him. (Plus I am envious of where he is going.)
I too am a Catholic. Well, a non practicing Catholic at the moment. There are things I like about the church, and some things I think are ridiculous, but I do get angry when I hear people say that Catholics are the worst when it comes to religious beliefs. Every religion has the radicals, and unfortunately those are the ones everyone basis their opinion on.
A million times thank you for this post!!!! I agree with so many things. I am from New York City which a lot of people hate and I've heard all the reasons (noise, pollution, traffic, overcrowding). Love them all. Whenever someone asks me where I'm from and I say NYC, they proceed to go into a 5 minute tangent about how they went on a school field trip to the Empire State building and how it was so noisy and they could never imagine living there. Well that's funny, because I don't remember asking you to move there.
Also- when T was supposed to deploy (his deployment got cancelled yesterday morning at like the 11th hour), the only thing most people seemed to be able to say to me was "well it could be worse, at least it's not ____________." Well yea, I know he's not going to ______________ but somehow reminding me that life can always get worse when I'm moody and depressed is not cheering me up at all. Shocking. I know.
Sorry to hear people are being annoying and rude. I'm here if you need to vent. Or need a refill of your supply of German gummy bears. It happens.
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