Family Woes

My family is...difficult to say the least.  I love them, don't get me wrong.  I really do.  But, I was ecstatic to find out that they were coming out for the week.  That is until they left early.  Let me back up and explain.

My mom and I have had a strained relationship for years.  Over the years, she has become quite mean spirited.  Pretty much since I turned 18, she has criticized every aspect of my life.  My step-dad says it is her offering advice, but she is down right rude in what she says.  When I graduated from college, instead of saying congrats, she says if I would have made different choices I would have graduated sooner.  Maybe, but I wouldn't trade in my European adventure in the world.  When I got married and told her how happy I was, she said something along the lines of "let's see how long that lasts."  When I told her we were renting, she said that we were throwing money away, when I picked my Master's program she said I wouldn't be any good at my new job...the list goes on and on.  This is probably why I moved 4,000 miles away from her at a very young age.  It makes me very sad, as I see a lot of my friends and how close they are to heir parents, but that just isn't me.  But, now that we moved a state away, I wanted to make an effort.

Now brings us to this weekend.  My mom complained about everything!  She didn't like that snack food we ate, she criticized the kind of coffee maker that I have, we went out to eat and she was awful to the poor waitress because they were out of the steak she wanted, she said the color I picked for my dining room was, and I quote, atrocious, she said I was a horrible doggy mother because I didn't feed my dog table food, and once again the list goes on and on.  It hurt, but I just countered with things like "this is my life" and "this is the way I do things."  I wasn't rude, I don't think, but after a while I became very matter of fact.  Saturday night, she mentioned me coming home for Christmas.  We had already talked about her coming to my house.  I have never hosted Christmas before, but looked forward to getting both mine and Joel's families together for the first time since the wedding.  She said I had to come home, because she wasn't coming here.  Apparently, after flying home from Germany for seven consecutive years without even one reciprocated visit wasn't enough.  That did it.  I became distant after that.

My parents were supposed to leave on Thursday.  All of a sudden, without word, my parents packed up and left, because my mother said I didn't make her feel welcome.  My sister was upset, because she just didn't understand, and my poor dad didn't know what to do.  I was shocked, told my mom that the whole family was more than welcome any time, and then she stormed off and sat out in the car until my dad loaded it up.  I was in shock.  What just happened?  Could I have begged her to stay?  Of course.  Should I have, after everything that went on?  I don't think so.  Joel has always been pretty honest with me, so of course I asked him what he thought.  He said that you could tell I was more distant, but that he thinks mom just did it for attention, as she is known to do.  He said that I was still kind and welcoming, but that I didn't just take the criticism like she wanted.  I don't know.  I love my mom, but she has stressed me out for years.  I guess I just need to reflect on this and figure out what to do next.

Friday Fill In!

Hey everybody, and Happy Friday!  I hope everybody in the Midwest is staying cool in this heat wave.  Here is Southwest Illinois, I am practically melting!  I have been staying in the house as much as possible, only leaving to run errands or to get in the pool.  The pups have a different plan, and love playing outside.  The poor pugs like the heat better than I do!  I have to practically drag them inside.

So, since it is Friday, here is my installment of Wife of a Sailor's...

1.  Do you eat raw cookie dough?
I would, because it is way delicious, but try to resist such things these days.  I am nearing 30 (gasp!) in a few years, and my metabolism isn't what it used to be.

2.  When you get online for the first time of the day… what site do you immediately head to?
Boring, but Facebook.

3.  What was your favorite pet as a child and why?
There was an old sheep dog mutt that we literally saved from being torn apart by other dogs.  My mom named him Niko (sp?) because she loved Steven Segal.  I loved that dog so much.  I sat through him and "mothered" him through his whole recovery, and we became inseparable after that.  I was really sad when he passed, but I believe that having him has been the reason why I volunteer with animal rescue.

4. If you had a snail that could magically grant wishes, what would you name it?
I have absolutely no idea! A magical snail? Hmm... Probably wishy washy, because he grants wishes? I don't know. My mom forgot to pass on the creative gene, ha!

5.  How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?
One, two, ah three.  Three :)

Made it! An update...

Well, after much stress and chaos, we finally made it to our new home here in Illinois.  I believe this will go down as one of our worst PCS'es during Joel's career.  First of all, our flight got delayed about 36 hours in Germany.  That was bad for multiple reasons.  One, we had a connecting flight that we procured ourselves, so since it was just a 12 hour delay to start with, well...let's just say that we paid a few change fees out of pocket.  Then we were stuck at the airport for what seemed like forever.  We also had screaming kids on the plane.  Not crying or upset, just screaming!  And parents that decided they would rather ignore their child for the ten hour flight then actually parent.  Yay.  So with the delay, we lost our day of rest that we had planned on and I didn't get to see my bestie.  But, we finally made it to the states.  We were grateful for the small miracle.

The very next day we packed up a U-Haul of my stuff from Indiana, which went pretty well, and headed out for our five hour drive to our new home.  Things were going great!  I was driving behind Joel in my car, and about an hour away from our destination, the drive shaft on the U-Haul literally broke off in the middle of the interstate, which I subsequently ran over.  It busted not one but two tires, and bent both of my rims.  This was at 7pm on a Sunday.  After an hour on the side of the road and pulling multiple ticks off of us (eww!) we were finally taken to a Holiday Inn until the morning when both the U-Haul and my car would be repaired.  Monday evening around 7pm, we were back on the road.  We made it to the house that night, unloaded a mattress, and passed out!  The next day we unloaded the U-Haul, which gave us enough stuff to survive until early August when we get our Household Goods from Germany.  Hopefully, then, we can get this house in order and get this hellish PCS put behind us!

Reconnected! And a Friday Fill-In

Hey everyone!  Thanks for sticking with me.  I am finally reconnected with the Internet, and although we don't have all of our furniture yet, we are getting fairly settled in (finally!).  I am really loving the area so far, as well as our place, and have lots of news to share.  This time, though, I am just going to participate in Wife of a Sailor's Friday Fill-In, and will update you guys soon.  Here we go!

1.  If you could have a private concert with any singer, who would it be?  submitted by An Air Force Wife’s Blog

That one is easy.  Josh Groban!  I think he is ultra talented, and cute in a quirky, guy next door kind of way, and I know he could give one hell of a show without any of the theatrics that most musicians have to rely on.

2.  Is there anything that you do to supplement your family's income? submitted by Our Life, One Adventure at a Time

Well, up until we moved here to Germany, I worked full time for the Department of the Army.  I hope to continue my career here, but since we are at an Air Force Base, it is proving to be rather difficult.  I am applying for jobs like crazy, though, so fingers crossed!

3.  During your pregnancy (whether past, present, or future) what did you nickname your unborn baby before you knew the sex? submitted by Explosions of Love
Well, I don't have any kids, and am not currently pregnant, so I have no idea.

4.  Have you ever won a blog giveaway?  If so, what did you win?  submitted by Mrs. O’s Life

Nope.  I have the worst luck winning things!

5.  If I looked into your refrigerator right now, what would I find?  submitted by Married to the Army

Since we just recently moved, you'd pretty much just find the basics.  We have some meals that we have bought, hamburger meat, fish, etc., but nothing too exciting or specific.  You would always find a bottle of my favorite wine, though!

The Eagle Has Landed!

Hey all! Thanks for sticking with me the past few weeks. I know they haven't been the most entertaining. I still don't have Internet, but we have successfully landed in the US and are trying to get settled in. We have a story from hell about getting here, which I will post soon enough. I hope to be back online and regularly blogging again soon!