Thirty

 

I don't know about you, but I'm feeling thirty...  Wait, that's not right.  But, I am indeed thirty now.  A new decade.  When I thought about where I'd be at thirty, I pictured a much different life.  I pictured a fast-paced career, married with one or two children, and living in a big city.  Well, one of those is correct.  I am married.  But, due to my husband's military service, none of the rest have come to fruition.

No fast paced career, because it's suffered due to the constant moves and not getting to choose where I'm living.  And that big city?  Once again, I don't get to choose where I get to live.  I always pictured working in politics in D.C. (thanks for nothing, political science degree) or working in the legal field in Chicago (but, alas Law School wasn't practical).  So, I'm settling for a civil servant in a small military base (although, admittedly I like what I do fine, but it's not challenging or making a difference).  I can't even use my teaching degree (that I thought would be more practical) because we are moving so soon and to a place where there is little opportunity (my license is in special education).  Kids became much less of a priority because Joel is gone so much, and I really don't want to do it alone.  And what if he was gone during the pregnancy/birth?  No, thank you.

But, this is the life I live and the life that I chose.  What didn't I picture at thirty?  I had absolutely no idea that I would have visited 28 countries and five continents.  I had no idea that I would be moving to actually live in my third continent.  I had no idea that I would fall in love with being abroad so much.  I had no idea that I was to become conversational in three languages, and hopefully fluent in those someday (and about to learn my fourth).  I also had no idea how great marriage could be.  I didn't exactly have the greatest example set for me, and even though life can get difficult and stressful, I know I can always lean on my best friend, my husband.  He is my biggest supporter, and would do anything that I asked of him, even though I rarely ever ask for his sacrifice.  Just knowing he would give up his whole world because of me makes me feel loved enough that I would never ask him to.

I didn't intend on this post getting so serious.  It's just kind of crazy for me to look back at how I envisioned my life to see it so different now.  Sometimes I am so hard on myself for not accomplishing the things that I thought I would, but then I see this whole different person that I never imagined.  Is one better than the other?  I don't know, I've only had the chance to lead one life.  I figure that God has a plan for me (for all of us), and I'm just trying to do the bets with the choices I've made.  I have a big year coming up.  We are selling my house and my car, I have to leave my job with no serious prospects for another, and we are moving to Korea.  KOREA!!  I don't even know what things are going to look like six months from now, but I know it will be an adventure.  Cheers to the thirties!!