101 Things Every St. Louisan Should Do

So, now that I am starting to feel like I actually am a St. Louisan, I found the above appropriately titled list that I am going to try and conquer.  I don't know if I'll make it to everything, but it sure is a fun goal, right?  So far I have already marked a few off of my list.  Stay tuned, pictures of course are coming.

Other than that, I have been a busy little bee.  I have my fun five hour class tonight, so I promise I will be updating soon.  Hopefully Wednesday.

Is this Lifestyle really for me?

Ok, precursor to the title.  Joel and I are fine.  Amazing, actually.  So this has nothing to do with us, and everything to do with me.  And yes, we've discussed.

The military lifestyle, for me at least, is...different.  Some people mesh very well with it.  They live on post and love it, always attend the family support meetings (the Army calls it an FRG, I am not sure what the Air Force calls it).  They love moving, getting new orders, and seem to make insta friends wherever they go.  This is not me. 

And I don't mean to sound like I am bashing this breed of military wife.  I envy it, actually.  It takes me a while to find my groove in a new place.  I would never live on base, unless forced.  I don't like the military to envelope my life.  I love that my husband feels joy in what he does.  But what he does and what I do are two different things.  I need the separation from the base.  Minus the time spent overseas, we rarely shop on base, and when Joel gets off of work, the uniform gets taken off and I feel like I can return to my "normal" life.

And I HATE moving.  See previous post about my lack of a career happening, but I hate resigning from one job to search for another, make another house a home, all to realize that I have to do it all again in 2-3 years.  I hate leaving old and amazing friends, and it is hard for me to put myself out there to make new ones.  I hate that one of the first questions I am asked is "what rank is your husband?"  I hate deployments and TDYs.  I hear all the time "thank God he's leaving for a week" but I loathe away time from my hubby.  I hate when he gets called in or stays late for nonsense that only the military can make up.

A lot of rambling just to say while some spouses thrive in this kind of lifestyle, I have yet to find my groove in it.  Luckily I seem to have met at least one person here that makes me feel normal and myself, and doesn't define me by my husband, what he does, or what his rank is.  I am trying my best to be open, and will of course continue to support and love my husband to my greatest ability, but I hope that someday I grow more fond of what this lifestyle has to offer.  And if anyone has any friendly advice, it is always welcome.

Friday Fill-In!

Yes!  I am so glad to be back in a routine to finally do these again!  Psst, Air Force, can we keep the moving to a minimum please?  No?  Oh...

Nevermind, it is on to Wife of a Sailor's...

1.  My plans for Labor Day included taking it easy with some of Joel's old friends from Chicago, but what really happened was it was too hot to do anything too productive, and I got sick!

2.  Call me crazy, but sometimes I just need to sit on the front porch by myself and read a good book.  That is what I call good "me" time.

3.  One of the funniest things I’ve seen lately is my pugs acting like fools when they are excited I get home.

4.  It’s strange, but teenagers drives me crazy while my husband acting like a teenager is perfectly fine with me!

5.  One, two, buckle my shoe… three, four what are you waiting for?  It's football season!  Go Dolphins!

What do I want to be when I grow up?

We all asked ourselves this as kids, right?  Some of us wanted to be doctors or lawyers, some firefighters or cops, and some chefs or moms.  I knew from the time I was little that I wanted to be an attorney.  When I went to college, I majored in Political Science because I thought that it would give me an advantage in Law School.  I eventually double majored in History because I just grew to love it, so when I graduated I received a B.S. in both.  I also lived out a dream by moving abroad and living in Europe.  Along the way, the unexpected occurred.  I met Joel, who I fell madly in love with, who also told me that he wanted to be a career Air Force Officer.  Insert tire screech here.  I almost didn't date him.  Why?  Because I have never met a military spouse who also had their dream career.  But in the end, love won out and I don't regret my decision at all.

I had a great job in Germany working for the army, and learned a lot of life lessons along the way.  I decided that being an attorney, trying to go to law school and retaking the bar every two to three years in a new state, just wasn't going to be feasible while also being a spouse.  So, I decided I would teach.  That is why I am going for my Masters in Special Education.  In the meantime, I feel conflicted.  I have never not worked.  I got a job at 14, and even worked full time while in college.  It is very hard to find a professional job where I am.  I live is SW IL, right over the border from St. Louis, but to go to the city and work would put a strain on my family time and my stress level while in grad school.  Rush hour in the morning is NOT fun.

I accepted a job a month ago part time making half of what I made overseas and doing something way below my skill level.  I anguished over this decision.  Sure, it was a paycheck, and albeit small one, but I felt like I shouldn't have taken it.  I felt like doing so wasn't doing anything for my self-esteem or for my family time.  I didn't get a degree to work on Sundays with no benefits, right?  So, after much discussion with my husband, I put in my resignation.  It just wasn't worth it.  Now, I am on the job hunt again.

This is probably the hardest thing for me as a military spouse.  Why is it so difficult for us to also have personal satisfaction in our careers?  I keep hearing about all of these hiring initiatives, but I think they are all crap!  Potential employers know when our resumes are so diverse who we are and I have been downright shot down because of it.  I wish I knew what to do to fix this or change it, but right now I just feel stuck.  Hopefully I can find something soon, but in the meantime I am unemployed for the first time in my life, and I hate it.

Going to the Lou!

Well, Labor Day weekend we finally decided to get out and enjoy our new city.  The 'burbs have been very good to us, but we wanted to be tourists in our own city, and see the sights!

We started it in a really cool area called Laclede's Landing.  It was a really neat place!  It is located in "Old St. Louis" near the waterfront, and it really had a lot of charm.  It was chocked full of small little restaurants that had al fresco dining, which I am smitten with, and we found out most of them allow pets to join in if you decided to sit outside.  Score!  Here are a few pictures.

The Landing

We also decided to go up into the arch.  The arch had a fantastic view, but was really crowded over the weekend.  I definitely recommend to all visitors to get tickets in advance!

View from the top of Busch Stadium!

Happy and hot, crammed in our pod on the way to the top.

My baby is a graduate!

Ok, ignore the super awful picture of me.  My baby pug graduated from puppy class!  He was even the top honors student!  Well, to be fair he was the only one who made it through all of the classes, so he was the only graduate, but I am proud none the less.  He will be starting intermediate training this week, so I hope to keep the training going.  He needs it!  In other pug news, this year Gomez will be a bat for Halloween and Pugsley will be a frog.  I know, I know...I am one of those pet moms, but hey, I don't have kids, so it is quasi allowed.

In other local news (i.e. my news) we got our first set of tickets to a Rams game!  I am so excited, because I have only seen the Colts play, as I am a Hoosier, and I am NOT a colts fan.  Sorry guys, but Dolphins all the way!  But, I have never had anything against the Rams, so I am excited to actually be rooting for the home team this time.

Nothing else too excited.  Started the new job last week, starting grad school next week, and I have almost got the house together!  Stay tuned for more fun posts.  I promise!  We are making our first tour to downtown St. Louis this weekend (I know, we've been here how long?) so I will follow up with a picture post soon!

Lots O' Changes!

Sorry I haven't been around very much, but there have been lots of changes around here!  The big news is...I got into grad school!  I registered Monday, which was pretty surreal, and am taking three classes and doing a field observation.  Wowness!  I also got a part time job working from home which is super convenient, but also a downer because I will have to work Sundays.  It starts next week, so we'll see how that goes.  And the last bit of news, sadly, is that Joel was tasked for a deployment.  We knew it was coming, but it doesn't make it any easier.  I'll write more as it approaches, but right now I am letting things sink in.

We are learning our new area and I can successfully make it to the Petsmart, Starbucks, and the gym without the aid of the GPS.  Oh, and if I didn't mention it before, we got our household goods from Germany!  So, once again I am living amongst the boxes.  I promise I will do my best shortly to be a better blogger, and I will expand on all topics mentioned in this blog.  Thanks for sticking in there with me :)

Family Woes

My family is...difficult to say the least.  I love them, don't get me wrong.  I really do.  But, I was ecstatic to find out that they were coming out for the week.  That is until they left early.  Let me back up and explain.

My mom and I have had a strained relationship for years.  Over the years, she has become quite mean spirited.  Pretty much since I turned 18, she has criticized every aspect of my life.  My step-dad says it is her offering advice, but she is down right rude in what she says.  When I graduated from college, instead of saying congrats, she says if I would have made different choices I would have graduated sooner.  Maybe, but I wouldn't trade in my European adventure in the world.  When I got married and told her how happy I was, she said something along the lines of "let's see how long that lasts."  When I told her we were renting, she said that we were throwing money away, when I picked my Master's program she said I wouldn't be any good at my new job...the list goes on and on.  This is probably why I moved 4,000 miles away from her at a very young age.  It makes me very sad, as I see a lot of my friends and how close they are to heir parents, but that just isn't me.  But, now that we moved a state away, I wanted to make an effort.

Now brings us to this weekend.  My mom complained about everything!  She didn't like that snack food we ate, she criticized the kind of coffee maker that I have, we went out to eat and she was awful to the poor waitress because they were out of the steak she wanted, she said the color I picked for my dining room was, and I quote, atrocious, she said I was a horrible doggy mother because I didn't feed my dog table food, and once again the list goes on and on.  It hurt, but I just countered with things like "this is my life" and "this is the way I do things."  I wasn't rude, I don't think, but after a while I became very matter of fact.  Saturday night, she mentioned me coming home for Christmas.  We had already talked about her coming to my house.  I have never hosted Christmas before, but looked forward to getting both mine and Joel's families together for the first time since the wedding.  She said I had to come home, because she wasn't coming here.  Apparently, after flying home from Germany for seven consecutive years without even one reciprocated visit wasn't enough.  That did it.  I became distant after that.

My parents were supposed to leave on Thursday.  All of a sudden, without word, my parents packed up and left, because my mother said I didn't make her feel welcome.  My sister was upset, because she just didn't understand, and my poor dad didn't know what to do.  I was shocked, told my mom that the whole family was more than welcome any time, and then she stormed off and sat out in the car until my dad loaded it up.  I was in shock.  What just happened?  Could I have begged her to stay?  Of course.  Should I have, after everything that went on?  I don't think so.  Joel has always been pretty honest with me, so of course I asked him what he thought.  He said that you could tell I was more distant, but that he thinks mom just did it for attention, as she is known to do.  He said that I was still kind and welcoming, but that I didn't just take the criticism like she wanted.  I don't know.  I love my mom, but she has stressed me out for years.  I guess I just need to reflect on this and figure out what to do next.

Friday Fill In!

Hey everybody, and Happy Friday!  I hope everybody in the Midwest is staying cool in this heat wave.  Here is Southwest Illinois, I am practically melting!  I have been staying in the house as much as possible, only leaving to run errands or to get in the pool.  The pups have a different plan, and love playing outside.  The poor pugs like the heat better than I do!  I have to practically drag them inside.

So, since it is Friday, here is my installment of Wife of a Sailor's...

1.  Do you eat raw cookie dough?
I would, because it is way delicious, but try to resist such things these days.  I am nearing 30 (gasp!) in a few years, and my metabolism isn't what it used to be.

2.  When you get online for the first time of the day… what site do you immediately head to?
Boring, but Facebook.

3.  What was your favorite pet as a child and why?
There was an old sheep dog mutt that we literally saved from being torn apart by other dogs.  My mom named him Niko (sp?) because she loved Steven Segal.  I loved that dog so much.  I sat through him and "mothered" him through his whole recovery, and we became inseparable after that.  I was really sad when he passed, but I believe that having him has been the reason why I volunteer with animal rescue.

4. If you had a snail that could magically grant wishes, what would you name it?
I have absolutely no idea! A magical snail? Hmm... Probably wishy washy, because he grants wishes? I don't know. My mom forgot to pass on the creative gene, ha!

5.  How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?
One, two, ah three.  Three :)

Made it! An update...

Well, after much stress and chaos, we finally made it to our new home here in Illinois.  I believe this will go down as one of our worst PCS'es during Joel's career.  First of all, our flight got delayed about 36 hours in Germany.  That was bad for multiple reasons.  One, we had a connecting flight that we procured ourselves, so since it was just a 12 hour delay to start with, well...let's just say that we paid a few change fees out of pocket.  Then we were stuck at the airport for what seemed like forever.  We also had screaming kids on the plane.  Not crying or upset, just screaming!  And parents that decided they would rather ignore their child for the ten hour flight then actually parent.  Yay.  So with the delay, we lost our day of rest that we had planned on and I didn't get to see my bestie.  But, we finally made it to the states.  We were grateful for the small miracle.

The very next day we packed up a U-Haul of my stuff from Indiana, which went pretty well, and headed out for our five hour drive to our new home.  Things were going great!  I was driving behind Joel in my car, and about an hour away from our destination, the drive shaft on the U-Haul literally broke off in the middle of the interstate, which I subsequently ran over.  It busted not one but two tires, and bent both of my rims.  This was at 7pm on a Sunday.  After an hour on the side of the road and pulling multiple ticks off of us (eww!) we were finally taken to a Holiday Inn until the morning when both the U-Haul and my car would be repaired.  Monday evening around 7pm, we were back on the road.  We made it to the house that night, unloaded a mattress, and passed out!  The next day we unloaded the U-Haul, which gave us enough stuff to survive until early August when we get our Household Goods from Germany.  Hopefully, then, we can get this house in order and get this hellish PCS put behind us!